Appliance manufacturers (praise be their holy names), in their infinite wisdom and mercy have determined that it is in our best interest that they carefully guard the meanings of their precious fault codes. And to make our joy complete, they even vary the codes from model to model! But, even though there are [...]

1. Two times a week, we go to a nice restaurant, have a little beverage, then comes good food and companionship. She goes on Tuesdays, I go on Fridays.
2. We also sleep in separate beds. Hers is in Ontario and mine is in Tucson.
3. I take my wife [...]

George Orwell was right: Big Brother is watching your every key stroke, even your mouse movements.

Slow-or-no-water-into-the-washer and flooding washer complaints just gotsta be in the top five most frequent appliance complaints I get. Thang about it is that it’s just so gawd-awful simple to fix that I’m reluctant to give away the secret to this great cash cow. Yeah, I know, I shouldn’t reveal this treasured trade secret [...]

When your dryer drum isn’t turning anymore, it’s usually a broken belt. Tearing the dryer apart is usually straight-forward enough but stringing the new belt on the motor and idler pulley can be tricky. The Complete Encyclopedia of Dryer Belt Configurations shows the belt configurations for almost every dryer brand you can think of. [...]

Send a Genuine Christmas e-Card Today
Tired of sifting through the myriad trite or sappy “Christmas” e-cards out there to send to your loved ones? Well, Grasshopper, your quest is at an end. Check out these classic, original and genuine Christmas e-cards from IconMotif.com commemorating the exalted and mystical message of Christmas. All [...]

Merry Christmas!
The Samurai’s reproductive units and semper fi canine unit join him and Mrs. Samurai in wishing all his faithful grasshoppers a Merry Christmas. After you’ve racked up a MasterCard bill that you’ll spend most of 2003 paying off, try to remember that, despite its pagan origins and modern materialism, Christmas is supposed to [...]

Hillstomping Update: Mts. Welch and Dickey
Been a while since I’ve done a Hillstomping Update. Been a while since I’ve done some serious hillstomping. A couple weeks ago, my semper fi canine hiking bud, Ouzo, and I had a superlative winter hillstomp up Mts. Welch and Dickey in Waterville Valley. Perfect day, clear [...]

Reasonable Thoughts for Reasonable People

1. Food has replaced sex in my life, now I can’t even get into my own pants.
2. Marriage changes passion… suddenly you’re in bed with a relative.
3. I saw a woman wearing a sweat shirt with “Guess” on it… so I said “Implants?”
4. I don’t do drugs anymore ’cause I find [...]

1. Ratio of an igloo’s circumference to its diameter? = Eskimo Pi
2. 2000 pounds of Chinese soup? = Won ton
3. 1 millionth of a mouthwash? = 1 microscope
4. Time between slipping on a peel and smacking the pavement? =
1bananosecond
5. Weight an evangelist carries with God? = 1 billigram
6. Time it takes [...]

The Guru’s Lair
Since announcing the grand opening of my new service offering fine, custom-made gaskets for the discriminating commercial kitchen, I’ve been deluged by email from devoted grasshoppers asking to see pictures of my new award-winning gasket manufacturing operation. Well, there ya go, budrow. Click the thumbnail for a bigger view.
And in case [...]

Small Appliance Repair
Toaster not toasting? Mixer not mixing? Scrotum scrubber not scrubbing? Try

Web Wankin’
I run several other websites besides this one so I’ve learned a thing or two about web services and tools. You need a good domain registrar and website host so people can get to your site. And you need good site-building tools if you’re going have something for ‘em to see once [...]

Cool Tools
Nice banner, even better website software. I use them to build and maintain this site. Come git you some:

Don’t Touch!
So yesterday the toilet in the hallway stopped up…again! One of the kids likes to use most of a full roll of toilet paper after their constitutional. After they finish, toilet paper is heaping up out of the water in the toilet, still dry. I haven’t figured out who the culprit [...]