Monthly Archives: March 2004

Mailbag: Slow Water Flow into a Washer, Part II

Diane wrote:

Elder Samurai,
I came upon this site and was delited to see how informative it is. I have a problem with slow (hot) water flow into my cloths washer. I took the hot water hose off to look at the filter screen in the inlet valve as you suggested and it looked ok???? Do I have to remove the inlet valve gadget from the washer to check a different part of it? I’m still searching your site to see if I find more but I keep getting side tracked reading other stuff and have not found anything. Thank you, Grasshopper Diane

_______________________________
The above message was sent when you were offline, via your LivePerson site.

Message sent from IP: 65.142.149.35

Konichiwa, grasshopper. While pondering your dilemma, I peered deeply into my steaming cup of green tea and perceived the solution to your problem. Now, snatch the pebbles from my hand and restore harmony to your washer.

Fixitnow.com Makes the Big Time

One gauge of a website’s success is when hacks and feebs start spoofing your site. “Spoofing” is when some semi-literate, pimply-faced, pencil-necked geeks send out spam fraudulently representing themselves as an established website with which they have no relationship whatsoever. Happens all the time to the big boys like Pay Pal and Yahoo. Well, I guess Fixitnow.com has finally made the Big Time…or at least big enough to get on some punk’s radar screen. I received this email today:

support@fixitnow.com wrote:

Dear user, the management of Fixitnow.com mailing system wants to let you know that,

We warn you about some attacks on your e-mail account. Your computer may
contain viruses, in order to keep your computer and e-mail account safe,
please, follow the instructions.

For details see the attach.

Attached file protected with the password for security reasons. Password is 08405.

The Management,
The Fixitnow.com team http://www.fixitnow.com

> ATTACHMENT part 2 application/octet-stream name=Info.zip

If you get this same email, or something similar, purporting to be from Fixitnow.com and asking you to open the attached ZIP file, please report it to your email provider or ISP and then delete it. Do not open the ZIP file–it’s a worm. It is not from Fixitnow.com, it’s from scum-sucking losers in Malaysia or some other third-world pisshole.

More fun facts to know and tell. If you get an email from Fixitnow.com, it’ll be from me, not “The Management.” How lame is that? I mean, does anyone in Ameedica really sign their emails, “The Management.” Second, there ain’t no “Management” at Fixitnow.com–there’s just me, Samurai Appliance Repair Man, and Mrs. Samurai. Period. Further, I would never have any reason to send along an attachment called “info.zip.” Finally, Fixitnow.com is a do-it-yourself appliance repair website. My expertise and interest is in helping you fix your major home appliances–I couldn’t care less about viruses in your email and I sure as hell wouldn’t waste my time sending you email about it.

Y’know, you’d think the internet has been around long enough that people would know better than to just dutifully open attachments “‘cuz the email said to.” But, I guess there are enough ignoramuses out there to keep the virus breeders and worm farmers in bidness. Now read and learn the Samurai’s Cardinal Rule for Email Safety: never open an attachment from anyone, even people you know, unless: 1) you’ve asked for the file and are expecting it and 2) you scan it with an up-to-date virus scanner before opening it. Good web-based email providers, like Yahoo Mail (my personal favorite), have built-in virus scanning and automatically scan all incoming email and attachments prior to downloading. The internet is a big, mean, dirty neighborhood–lock n’ load before you surf.

Buying Appliance Parts

In my continuing effort to maintain Fixitnow.com as the premiere appliance repair website on the entire internet, I’m trying to figure out how best to get you the replacement parts you need. How would you prefer to buy appliance parts: ordering online anytime without having to talk to anyone or making a toll-free call to a human during normal business hours?

War Story: Maytag Neptune Stack Laundry MLE2000AYW, Washer No Spin

Awwite, all you grasshoppers, go git you a brewski and gather ’round. It’s time for another one of weird ol’ Uncle Samurai’s war stories.

A while back, one stormy, wintry day, I got a call on a Maytag Neptune stack laundry, complaint was that the washer wouldn’t spin. So, I saddled up my not-so-trusty Ford service van and rode on out into the frozen tundra to fix it.

When I got there, I verified the complaint–sho nuff, no spin. So I go through all the basic checks that you do on these machines for these types of complaints: make sure the washer’s pumping out (if it ain’t, it’ll never spin), check the door switches and the balance sensing circuit. All checked out ok.

Now, as an astute practitioner of the repairing arts and being in the know about these things, I turned my keen, laser-like attention on the machine control board. I pulled that sucker out which, in the stack Neptune, is located upstairs in the dryer compartment, and feasted my Vulcan squinties upon it. My trained and bifocaled eyeballs were looking for any signs of the infamous burnt R11, a problem more common with these Neptunes than ticks on a hound dog. Not seeing anything unusual with R11, I was getting ready to tuck the machine control board back in when my calibrated eyeballs noticed something off-color about R43. I took a closer look and, sho nuff, it was as toasted as the Samurai on a Saturday night.

Now this was a head scratcher. See, R11 is in the spin cycle circuit and that’s why it tends to burn up when there’s a spin problem. But R43 is in the end-of-cycle signal circuit–ain’t got nothin’ to do with spin. I was confronted with what we professional appliantologists call a “connundrum.” That’s one o’ them fancy words you learn after you been in the trade a while. Oh, they’s a whole bunch of other words like that, but I can’t remember ’em right now on account o’ I’m too busy writing this sto-ree. Speaking of which…

Well, this was one o’ them problems where I had to use what they call on CSI “dee-ductive reasoning.” Oh yeah, the Samurai is fully qualified to perform all types of reasoning. For ezzample, I’m real good at coming up with reasons why Mrs. Samurai awwta go into town to git me some more beer. Anyway, what it boiled down to was that if everything else checks out ok and you see a problem on a particular component, like the machine control board, then you can dee-duce that the machine control board is bad. And so I done dee-duced it.

Now, one other thang to keep in mind. They’s been so many problems with the door latch mechanism causing the machine control board to fail that it’s just SOP for me that whenever I replace a Neptune machine control board, I always replace the door latch assembly at the same time–whether it needs it or not. If you don’t, you stand a real good chance of burning up a brand new, mondo-expensive machine control board in short order.

Everyone loves a story with a happy ending, and this story has one, too: replacing the machine control board and the door latch assembly fixed the washer and the customer was happy…with me. They’re very perturbed with Maytag, however, and will be joining that class action lawsuit.

These days, seems everyone wants a moral to the story. Well, I don’t wanna dissapert y’all so this story has one, too. When working on these Neptunes, understand that the engineers were smokin’ crack when they designed the electronics on this thing. Anything that goes wrong on the Neptune, from a door switch to a water valve, fries the machine control board, sometimes in peculiar and unexpected ways. Watch for it.

Awwite, story time’s over. Now come git you some parts and go fix that washer.