Getting the Door Back on a Thermador Range

So, you pulled the door off your Thermador range because you and your buddy were doing shots of cheap vodka and, well, it seemed like a good idea at the time. Or maybe you had another reason that sounds almost as good as that one. Whatever. But now, you can’t figger out how to get that half-ton piece of stainless steel back on the hinges. Never fear, grasshopper-dear, for the repair wisdom you seek is ratcheer.