Category Archives: Samurai Incarnate

Posts about the Samurai in real life, work and play.

Mailbag: Exiled from Paradise

Psmith wrote:

Superb website, found while looking for pix of my favorite place, Franconia Ridge. Sadly I now live in Texas. But someday I’ll make it back to God’s Own NH…

I will pass this website to many dear friends.
And I will continue to search for my Holy Grail, a source for Blind Faith in Houston………….

Hike On!

_______________________________

Message sent from IP: 128.249.174.67

I shudder to think what you must have done to be cast out of Paradise and flung down into the Abyss! While working out your penance in Hell, here are some other glimpses of the Franconia Paradise to keep you focused on your goal of coming back up here to God’s Country. Yeah, incentives are important… learned that in rehab.

Franconia Ridge, October 2004

Franconia Ridge, May 2004

Franconia Ridge, March 2003

And lots more pictures of God’s Country in my hillstomping photo albums.

Soylent Green

Every morning, I drag my skinny butt outta bed and chase away the previous night’s fermented chugalug with a soy protein drink mix. But with all the old bad press about soy protein, I had doubts about continuing this breakfast restorative.

My wife recently received some medical information on the protein supplement that I’ve come to know and love and helps to buttress by faith in soy, my favorite dietary staple.

This information was offered by Dr. Nasr (they didn’t give his full name). Dr. Nasr has a B.S. in Agronomy; M.S. in Biochemistry of anti-oxidants and a PH.D. in Pharmacognosy (science of bio-active
products). He received his M.D. from Rush Medical College in Chicago, followed by Internal Medicine and Cardiology fellowships from Chicago Medical School. He is a member of the American College
of Nutraceuticals and the American College of Preventive Medicine and is Director of the Medical Care & Diagnostic Center, Lake Villa, Il 847-356-9009. Contact Dr. Nasr for the actual research studies. He uses this soy exclusively because it has the very best and most complete soy protein and isoflavone content.

Below is a synopsis from Kay Beers’ notes.

1. Optimal flora and Soy Protein increase the absorption of protein,
decrease gas and discomfort and decrease cholesterol by 23%

2. Sixty (60) studies have been conducted showing soy protein
increases bone density more than just Calcium Magnesium does.

3. Two studies show that soy and vitamin E, together, decrease LDL
(bad cholesterol) by 40% and that is 17% greater decrease than Zocor
and Lipitor.

4. Four studies show that soy protein inhibits oxidation of LDL
(bad cholesterol) by 40%. When cholesterol oxidizes, it
becomes “sticky” and in this condition is when it can attach to
blood vessel walls.

5. Soy prevents gall stones. It doesn’t dissolve them but it
prevents them.

6. Soy prevents kidneys from damage. Lots of animal protein may be
hard on the kidneys, but soy protein protects the kidneys.

7. French fries at major fast food establishments are crispy. That
is a value for the store. Some french fries are coated with a
protein substance that when combined with the sugar in the potato
and then heated, give them added crispness. Unfortunately that
combination of sugar, protein and high heated fat produces a
carcinogen. Probably a good idea to avoid all French fries.

8. This protein includes valuable protein and isoflavones
that are not present in other soy proteins produced with heat or
chemicals.  The low heat – water wash process keeps the
isoflavones in the protein. Isoflavones are natural cancer fighting
ingredients that occur naturally in soy.

9. Soy’s protein and Isoflavones inhibit the mutated cell’s
ability to make an enzyme that would cause the cell it to reproduce.

10. Soy inhibits the cancer cell from making the body provide it
with additional blood supply (additional blood supply is called
angiogenesis).

11. Soy increases the killing effect of the white blood cells
(phagocytosis).

12. Soy’s amino acid Lysine when combined with Vitamin C decreases
Colon Cancer by 90%.

13. The flavanoids when combined
with Soy Protein are synergistic (they work even better together)
and decrease breast cancer 10 fold.

14. Beta carotene when combined with Soy Protein and Calcium with Vitamin D are 10 times as effective at preventing cancer cells from getting an addition blood
supply.

15. Women in the Orient get about 80mg of Isoflavones a day; women
in US and Europe get about 1.0 mg. That’s an 80% negative difference
for US and Europe.

16. Soy protein helps the differentiated cell (bad cell) convert
back to a normal cell.

Dr. Nasr also listed the several forms of protein and the length of
their chain of Amino Acids. The shorter the chain, the more quickly
the Amino Acids can be absorbed and utilized.

1. Soy has the shortest chain and takes less than an hour.

2. Fish is next.

3. Chicken takes about 4 hours.

4. Beef takes about 5 hours.

5. Pork takes about 6-8 hours to digest.

Yea verily, soy is still green!

The Samurai’s Dojo

Many Grasshoppers have written inquiring about the Samurai’s house. Here are a couple pictures of the Samurai’s dojo that should fullfil these voyeuristic requests.


The Samurai’s home from the outside. Plenty of fresh outside air inside the house is one of the secrets of Samurai’s good health!


A peek inside our family room–pardon the mess!

The Samurai’s Martial Art of Appliance Repair


The Samurai’s service van for his day job.


A peek inside the back of the Samurai’s service van. Lucky you!


Dr. Samurai makes housecalls with his appliance medic kit.


A rare and privileged peek inside Dr. Samurai’s bag o’ tricks.


M’main tool roll. 86.4% of the repairs I do are made using tools in this most excellent tool roll.


Digital and analog multimeters. I prefer an analog meter but use the digital when I need the extra capability it offers such as current and temperature measurement.


Three essential wire working tools: cutters, strippers, and crimpers.


Illumination of the work area is critical for both diagnosis and repair. While perfecting the craft of the appliance repairing arts, much of which takes place in dark, moldy, sometimes scary places, I have become a connoisseur of portable spot illumination devices, sometimes referred to as “flashlights.”


Much appliance work is done on your knees. If you don’t protect them, you’ll be getting knee replacement surgery by the time you’re 50.

15-Second Appliance Tips Airing on WNTK

You’ve heard them, you love them, you want to BE them…ok, that’s just too weird for words. But you can read the the text of the ads here. For your reading pleasure, the text of the 15-second appliance tips spots I’m running on WNTK talk radio is presented along with supporting links for more information. Happy fixing!

Washer Flooding

Samurai Appliance Repair Man says: Washing machine floods can cause thousands of dollars worth of damage to your home. Here are two things you can do to avoid this disaster: 1) never tamper with or remove the protective screens on the washer’s inlet valve and 2) install stainless-steel braided fill hoses. For more tips on preventing washing machine floods, go online to Fixitnow.com Samurai Appliance Repair Man.

Link ==> Preventing Washer Floods

Icemaker Early Warning

Samurai Appliance Repair Man says: If your icemaker stops making ice, this could be an early warning that your refrigerator is starting to warm up. Icemakers won’t make ice if the freezer temperature is above 17 degrees. So, even though your freezer may feel cold, your icemaker may be telling you to go online to Fixitnow.com Samurai Appliance Repair Man.

Link ==> Online Icemaker Repair Manual

Electric Dryer No Heat

Samurai Appliance Repair Man says: If your electric dryer runs but doesn’t heat up at all, the first thing to check is the circuit breaker to make sure it’s not tripped. Electric dryers use a two-part circuit breaker and it’s common for one part to trip which cuts power to the heating elements but not the motor. For more dryer repair solutions, go online to Fixitnow.com Samurai Appliance Repair Man.

Link ==> Electric Dryer Not Heating

Spring Cleaning: Refrigerators

Samurai Appliance Repair Man says: Get your refrigerator ready for the hot summer days ahead. Help keep your beverages ice cold by vacuuming all the hair and lint off the the condenser grill underneath. Use a mild bleach solution to clean the black mildew off the door gaskets to keep them soft. For more refrigerator tips, go online to Fixitnow.com Samurai Appliance Repair Man.

Link ==> Online Refrigerator Repair Manual

Spring Cleaning: Pest Control

Samurai Appliance Repair Man says: During winter, mice come inside your home and like to make nests in the insulation around your dishwasher and range. Now’s the time to look for signs of mouse activity and take appropriate pest control measures. To find out what you can do about mice in your appliances, go online to Fixitnow.com Samurai Appliance Repair Man.

Link ==> Rodent Rage

Autographed Picture of Samurai Appliance Repair Man

samurai appliance repair man preparing to punish an insolent applianceLike crimson rays extending from the rising sun, the Samurai’s glory shines all over the globe. Lately, the Samurai was nearly flooded by hundreds of thousands of emails from every country on the planet asking, nay, begging for an autographed picture of the Samurai practicing his appliance repair martial art. Fortunately, a global internet email glitch prevented any of those requests from being delivered; however, since the Samurai is omniscient (and he knows it), he was aware of their incipient arrival.

As always, the Samurai indulges his devoted Grasshoppers. Here is a genuine photo of yours so very truly in action, preparing to deal harshly with an insolent appliance that has dishonored me. Note that I have personally autographed each photo. Go ahead and take one. They’re free just like the copious pearls of appliance repair wisdom here at The Samurai School of Appliantology.

Marital Bliss

the samurai and mrs. samurai on their honeymoon at the seabrook nuclear power plant cooling pond--click for larger viewI often mention Mrs. Samurai in the pearls of wisdom I post here at The Samurai School of Appliantology. Many of you have emailed me wanting to know more about Mrs. Samurai. And several people have told me that they don’t believe there really is a Mrs. Samurai, that I’m just a sad and lonely psycho obsessed with fixing appliances and drinking beer. I’ll go along with that last part but I resent those first two adjectives–I’m neither sad nor lonely because, 15 years ago, Mrs. Samurai vowed to share her life with me. Still don’t believe there’s a Mrs. Samurai? Ok, my skeptical grasshoppers, here’s a picture of the Samurai and Mrs. Samurai on their honeymoon on the glistening shores of the cooling pond at the historic Seabrook Nuclear Power Plant.

Let that be a lesson to you: never again doubt the Samurai.

Samurai On the Air

Be sure to listen to Morning Liftoff on WNTK 99.7 FM tomorrow morning, Tuesday, 12/30/2003, starting just after the 8:30 ET break. The Samurai will be live and on the air for as long as the G-Team can stand it. So, if you tune in after 8:31, you’ll probably miss it. If you’re local to the WNTK listening area (and you know who you are) then tune in on your radio. For you Grasshoppers not blessed with living here in the Upper Valley Region of NH and VT, you can tune in with your web browsers here.

The Samurai Gets Airborne

Fixitnow.com is now a time/weather sponsor on WNTK, 1020 AM and 99.7 FM, a major radio station based in New London, NH, that broadcasts to the Upper Valley Region of New Hampshire and Vermont. And through their webcast, WNTK is carrying the Samurai’s message of appliance repair hope to grasshoppers all over the globe.

WNTK is also the home of the stellar Morning Liftoff program with George Russell, Pete Merrigan, and Hilary Cogen. George, who sounds like the love child of Rod Stewart and Fran Drescher, is the charismatic host of the show and is deftly assisted by his crackerjack co-hosts, Pete and Hilary. Together, they are the G-Team. From 6am to 10am every weekday morning, they’re spinning tunes, slapping shtick, and flapping their gums about current events. If you’re tired of wiping your ears on the Anus in the Morning show, check out Morning Liftoff. It’s an enema for your ears…or something like that. Tune in and checkout what’s happening in the Samurai’s ‘hood.

Yes! The Samurai and Mr. Appliance are Working Christmas Day!

Cooking your Christmas turkey and your range dies? Never fear, Samurai Appliance Repair Man is here!
From his world-wide headquarters here in beautiful and genteel New London, New Hampshire, the Samurai will come into your home via phone, fax, email, and online chat to help you fix your range, refrigerator, or any other major appliance that threatens to darken your holiday cheer. The Samurai can help you fix it now in a Live Appliance Repair Help Session.

If you live in the New London, NH, area, call Mr. Appliance anytime, 24 hours a day, seven days a week, for fast, expert appliance repair service on any of your major appliances. Any brand. Any problem. Anytime. Including Christmas Day!

Bird Watching Update: Rare Sighting of the Cacapee Bird

The rare and beautiful Cacapee bird once flourished throughout all New England. The name, Cacapee, is an Iroquois word meaning, “beautiful feathers.” Its long, brightly colored tail plume was highly prized for fashionable head wear. The wing feathers of the Cacapee were commonly used as “tonsil ticklers” in the vomitoriums which were hubs of social activity in New England during the Colonial period. Because of these popular uses of its feathers, the Cacapee bird was hunted to near-extinction. In fact, this exquisite bird was thought to be extinct…until now.

During one of his recent bird-watching missions, the Samurai documented the existence of one of the last remaining Cacapee birds on the entire planet. The bird was spotted in a forest abutting Lake Sunapee, near the Samurai’s home town of New London, New Hampshire. Unfortunately, the camera was damaged in a shower mishap, so no image is available. However, the audio recording survived. Here, now, is the only recording in existence of the Cacapee bird’s mating call (patent-pending, all rights reserved, void where prohibited). Let’s listen:

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