Category Archives: Website Updates

Log of changes, both good and bad, made to this website over the years.

Samurai Appliance Repair Forum Orphan Prevention Program


After joining your forum under the recommendation of a friend, I was shocked to find that you have to ‘pay’ in order to ask simple questions (I.E: Make a new thread) and to simply get answers that are directed at one’s self in order to repair a rowdy appliance.


Hello Tom, and all the grasshoppers out there who are “shocked” that we ask for payment to post in the Samurai Appliance Repair Forums. I would like to ‘splain why this is so, since most of you are probably unaware of the ins and outs of running a Mama-san and Papa-san business on the web. (And, in case you are wondering, this is our main, full-time business that keeps us and our 3 kiddos supplied with a humble thatched roof over our heads and sushi on the table.)

The main reason we charge to post a question on the forum might surprise you. It’s not because the forum represents the collective wisdom and time of a couple dozen battle-hardened appliance techs, whose previously written pearls are displayed for all to see, free of charge, since payment is only requested if you would like to have your particular problem personally attended to by one or more of these professionals. (Although seeing it written out like that makes me think that this alone would be a darn good reason to charge a measly 5 bucks!) No – the main reason that we charge a small fee is for the orphans. (Think of the children!) The orphans are the dozens of posts we used to get every week, back when posting was free, by heartless scoundrels who would post their questions at the forum, only to abandon them there. In other words, a tech would take the time to engage the grasshopper, give some initial advice, and ask for clarifying questions (most topics require a series of interchanges between grasshopper and tech to come to a glorious and satisfying conclusion). But, the rogue would never return, and the topic would just lay there – abandoned, forlorn, and unfulfilled. Worse yet, we discovered that many of these miscreants had similarly posted these same questions on other forums throughout the web, scattering them without any thought to their care and feeding.

Why was this a big deal? Because it would clutter the forum with unresolved questions, distract the techs from helping people who were engaged and attentive to their topics, and generally dishearten those of us who were working so hard to leave no topic behind. Now, with this small commitment that we ask of people, the forum is rocking with engaging back-and-forth interactions between grasshopper and expert resulting in a treasure-trove of satisfyingly complete repair stories.

The Samurai and I do feel for our grasshoppers who don’t have it easy these days. While $5 isn’t worth a whole lot anymore, it can still mean a lot to those who are suffering from the effects of our bankster-run economy. Last year the Samurai and I heard your chirps of distress and provided a no-cost way to earn posting privileges at the forum: the Appliantologist Merit Exam. We’ll keep looking for other alternatives to charging for forum posting that would still prevent the sad orphan topics that used to be left on our door step.

Thanks for visiting!
~ Mrs. Samurai

New Service at Samurai Appliance Repair Man Saves Marriages, too!

Shellee wrote:

Thank you times a billion!

Our washer quit working, it’s my anniversary weekend and my husband said we could get a new washer instead of celebrating. No wife wants a new washer for their anniversary!!

So, I ripped out the washer’s guts, followed your sage-like advice and now my washer runs like new. You are awesome. I will be your fan… forever.

Many, many thanks from this woman!!!

Samurai Appliance Repair Man fixes marriages, too!

Apprenticeships in the Samurai Appliance Repair Forums

Anyone can surf into the Samurai Appliance Repair Forums, search topics and read all they want absotootly free. You can even register as a Grasshopper for free. But if you want to start a new topic, reply to existing topics, send private messages, and download any of the thousands of illustrative and illuminating attachments, you have to be an Apprentice Appliantologist.

Back in March 2009, I unveiled the new forum Apprenticeships available to seekers of higher appliantological wisdom. Here they be:

After you’ve registered in the forum, you can select your type of apprenticeship on the subscriptions page.

As indicated, the Permanent Apprenticeship is the best value because not only does it never expire (so you never pay again, even if we have to raise the fee) but you get access to the Samurai’s coveted repair manual stash. I’m adding new manuals all the time and the file collection continues to grow. We’re busting at the seams! As you probably guessed, the repair manual stash uses a huge amount of disk space for storage and bandwidth to serve all those files. For now, my costs for this are stable and I don’t anticipate having to raise the fee. Hopefully this won’t change too much when the mis-named Dollar (really just a Federal Reserve Note, read the back of one) finally takes the nose-dive that everyone’s expecting.

I’ve had several people email me complaining that full access to the forum should be free, “… ‘cuz it’s on the innernet, an’ all.” And I thought to myself, I said, “Self, that’s a ding-dang good line, I’m gonna try that one on my web host and file service provider and my other site-related vendors that I use to keep my sites running.” Well, guess what? They all told me to go jump in a frozen New Hampshire lake. And I guess my time running the site (which is considerable) shouldn’t count for anything either.

Nevertheless, since the Samurai is merciful and compassionate, slow to anger and of great gootness, I recognize the tough financial times we live in and so created the Appliantologist Merit Exam as a way for folks to earn an apprenticeship without having to pay anything.

Lots of folks have taken the exam. As they say in the Dojo, “Many have tried; many have died.” Nah, it’s not that hard– the exam has a pass rate of about 60% so most folks who take the exam pass it. You have to score over 75% on the exam to pass and you’ll become a Merit Apprentice Appliantologist. If you ace the exam, you’ll join a small, elite group of Buckaroo Banzai Appliantologists— less that 5% of examinees achieve this distinction.

But there are a couple of downsides (aren’t there always?) to going the exam route vs. paying:

  • The exams are graded by hand, which means you won’t have full access until I grade your exam. Since I’m just one guy (albeit, one very talented and good-looking guy) and I get slammed with lots of exam results every day, it could be a few days to a couple of weeks (sometimes more *gasp*) before I get to your exam. But, maybe the wait is worth five measly beans to you. Your call.
  • The current Merit Apprentices (but not the Buckaroo Banzais) will all expire when the new exam is released. I originally intended to write a new exam every quarter but, as usual, that was waaay too unrealistic. However, a new exam will be written sooner or later. When that happens, the Merit Apprentices will all revert back to Grasshopper status with its limitations. At that time, you can either take the new exam or purchase an Apprenticeship.

The Appliantologist Merit Exam is meant as an alternate route to Apprenticeship. So if you’re already an Apprentice Appliantologist of one flavor or another, help save what’s left of a senile Samurai’s sanity and don’t take the exam– I barely have enough time to grade all the exams from Grasshoppers as it is. Muy domos, compadre!

Repair Forum Server Migration Update

Been struggling through a server migration with the repair forum this weekend. It’s a big database, over 1 GB, and migrating it to another server is no trivial task. I’ve been working closely with my webhost, Data1Systems, throughout the whole ordeal. After a false start, I thought it was mission accomplished yesterday– forum was back up and running on the new server and zipping along, question were being posted and answered. So I laid my silly butt down to bed with an unfurled brow and unclenched gut. But when I got up this morning to check in with the repair forum, all I got was a blank white screen. Oh, foul, bane iniquity! So… we’re hot on it and hope to have it back up and running today. I’ll keep you posted here.

UPDATE: And we’re back up! Come on in to the Samurai Appliance Repair Forum and we’ll hepya fix your broken appliances!

Appliantology Newsletter, April 2009

Appliantology Newsletter, April 2009:  The Oracle of Appliance enlightenmentJust when it looked like my rehab was going so well, I had a relapse and produced the most important newsletter in history! Thank you for not asking which history this newsletter is important to but, if you must know, it’s the history of Applianchia, a remote, mountainous region in Lower Slabovia famous for producing the appliance repair nephilim of yore. Those nephilim can be greedy, too, so hurry and get your FREE copy of the latest newsletter before they snarf it all up!

And if, in the future, you’d like your very own personal copy of Appliantology sent to your email in a discreet brown wrapper so the appliance nephilim don’t git it first, kommen zie hither, bitte.

Summary of Appliance Repair Tweets for the Week Ending 2009-04-26

Get these Appliance Repair Tweets real-time as they happen– follow me on Twitter.

Get these Appliance Repair Tweets real-time as they happen– follow me on Twitter.

Summary of Appliance Repair Tweets for the Week Ending 2009-04-19

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Samurai’s Daily Twitter Pearls for 2009-04-09

  • GE recalls 28,000 ranges due to fire and burn hazards: #
  • Need a appliance service manual? Post your request in the Service Manual Request forum. Hook ya right up: #
  • The motor in your Maytag MDB dishwasher runs but won’t fill with water? Check that wiring harness at the door pivot! #
  • Easy tip for extending the life of the elements in your electric hot water heater: #
  • Looking north on the Southern Saints ridge. Still winter in the White Mountains! [?] #

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Samurai’s Daily Twitter Pearls for 2009-04-08

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Samurai on Facebook

facebook-125x46.jpgSo, as a result of a chronic deficiency of vitamin C in my diet, I broke down and joined the Facebook craze. After binging on bean juice all night, I created this Facebook page.

If you become a fan, here are some of the cool features you’ll find:

  • Keep up with the Samurai’s every move!
  • Get the latest posts at right there on Facebook.
  • Show off your impeccable taste in websites to all your Facebook friends by becoming a fan of the Samurai on Facebook page– it’s hip, it’s happenin’, it’s the new black!

Special Offer: For a limited time only[1], I’ve waived the entrance fee to become a fan of our Facebook page– an $800 value! But you can become a fan today absolutely FREE! Folks, that is not a typo– I’m giving away the store. I’m nuts, I tell ya’, I’m freakin’ outta control. Sometimes, when I’m really feeling crazy, I’ll drive without buckling my seatbelt. No chit, Mon! I’m a mad man, I tell ya, a mad man!

Become a fan today and get a special blessing from the Samurai. All your other friends are doing it. And best of all, it’s FREE!

[1] Offer expires April 6, 2042. Time flies when you’re having fun with the Samurai so hurry and join today!

Appliantology Newsletter, March 2009

appliantology-03-2009-thmb.pngIt’s baaaack! Just when you thought it was safe to go out on the web, another screaming issue of our newsletter is prowling around the Internet again. This issue is so jam-packed with appliantological news that I had to put it in a trash compactor just to make it all fit. So give the kids a break from gubmint mind-damage school, drag Grandpa outta the fart sack, bring the hound dawg in from the back 80, throw some fresh scratch down for the chickens, and put another log on the fire– y’all gather ’round the fireplace now for some quality family time with the latest issue of Appliantology: The Oracle of Appliance Enlightenment®. Click here to get your free copy. Hurry and get it today before it’s all used up!

And if, in the future, you’d like your very own personal copy of Appliantology sent to your email in a discreet brown wrapper, kommen zie hither, bitte.

Appliantologist Merit Exam

appliantologist merit exam.  click to take it.So, Grasshoppah, you think you’re smarter than the average grasshoppah? You think you got what it takes to be a Merit Apprentice Appliantologist? Or maybe even a Buckaroo Banzai Appliantologist? Well then, come strut yo’ stuff in the MasterĀ Appliantologist Merit Exam and we shall indeed see if’n you got what it takes to become one of the most fearsome and elite appliance repair shock troops the world has ever seen!