Monthly Archives: August 2002

Appliance News Update

Appliance Tip of the Day: Storing Flesh Meats Safely

Ever had food poisoning? You know, sitting on the toilet at 2 am, clenching a gallon-sized bucket in your trembling hands with the sluices wide open at both ends. Yeah, I hate when that happens. How ’bout we learn how to store flesh meats so we don’t have to deal with that bit of nastiness again? Ok, my little meat-eating grasshoppers, grab hold of those two large lumps right below your lumbar vertebrae and get ready for another wild romp into appliance enlightenment.

The table below shows you the recommended maximum storage times for various flesh meats in your refrigerator and freezer. Read it, learn it, use it, memorize it–pop quiz in the morning. Bon Appétit!

Flesh Meat:
Fresh, Smoked, Processed, Killed, or Run-over
Refrigerator Freezer
Fresh Cow, Pig, Sheep, or Baby Sheep
Chops, Steak, Roasts 3-5 days 4-9 months
Freshly Ground 1-2 days 3-4 months
Pig Meat
Bacon 7 days 1 month
Ham – Fully Cooked, Whole 7 days 1-2 months
Ham – Half 3-5 days 1-2 months
Ham – Slices 3 days 1-2 months
Hot Dogs
Sealed in Package 2 weeks 1-2 months
After Opening 7 days 1-2 months
Lunch Meats
Sealed in Package 1-2 weeks 1-2 months
After Opening 3-5 days 1-2 months
Sausage
Ground 1-2 days 1-2 months
Smoked Links or Patties 7 days 1-2 months
Chicken or Turkey
Whole 1-2 days 12 months
Pieces 1-2 days 9 months
Ground 1-2 days 3-4 months
Chicken Nuggets or Patties 1-2 days 1-3 months
Human Remains
Limbs 1-2 days 4-9 months
Organs 12 hours 4-9 months
Teeth 2-4 weeks 10-20 years
Road Kill
Squirrels 3-5 days 1-4 months
Deer 1-2 days 2-3 months
Moose 1-2 days 1-2 months

Sources: United States Department of Agriculture; Food Marketing Institute; Cooperative Extension Service, Iowa State University; New Hampshire mountain folk lore.

grasshoppers happily munching on various flesh meats with the master secure in the knowledge that they will not get food poisoning and because their bologna has a first name

Editorial Note

Editorial Note

Something we’re most proud of here at Fixitnow.com is how many different groups of people we’ve managed to offend in our tireless pursuit of cheap laughs. We’d like to take a moment to acknowledge these groups and thank them for being who they are:

If your group is not on this list, don’t worry–it just means we haven’t gotten to you yet. But rest assured that we are working on it!

Hillstomping Update

Hillstomping Update

DAYYAM I gotta pee!Awesome hike up Mt. Moriah yesterday! We feasted on wild blueberries, soaked up the rays and the 360° views on the summit of Mt. Moriah, and threw sticks in the icy water of the Rattle River for the dogs to chase until they started shivering uncontrollably from hypothermia. Check out Tim’s pics of this hike. Part of our hike took us on a section of the Appalachian Trail where we met several AT through-hikers. Now, here’s an unlikely coincidence: I met up with a guy, Jeff, on the trail who was a fellow student in the milestone life-experience AMC Winter Camping workshop, that I’d taken this past winter. He was out for a few days on a backpacking trip at the same time we were dayhiking and we just happened to cross paths on the same freakin’ trail! Now, what are the odds of that happening?

Live Help Update

I’ll be online for live help most of the day…except for when I’m too busy doing fun stuff like wiping that brown liquid out of the trash cans or soaking my toothbrush in hydrogen peroxide and staring at all those fizzy bubbles. Should be online most of this evening, though. Feel the love, yo.