I’m Not Dead…Yet

Man, I gotta hand it to those terrorists: they did a good job when they made this virus I’ve got. It’s sneaky–just when I think I’m getting better, it sucker punches me, leaving me writhing like a purple worm on a hot road and gagging into the puke bucket.

I haven’t been much fun to be around or to look at.

I want you to memorize these five words and repeat them to yourself like a mantra, “I want my smallpox vaccine.” That’s going to be the epitaph on my tombstone. Live footage from Hell coming soon.