Haikus for Appliance Repair

These haikus contain sacred appliance knowledge. To experience their deeper, hidden wisdom, you should read them aloud, reverently and under soft lighting while burning incense. Be careful not to read too many at a time, they must be savored like fine saké to achieve true appliance satori (enlightenment).


Surfing for wisdom
appliance repair haikus
for you, satori.

Asking for answers,
answer given, not believed.
Head too full of bone.

this is you, grasshopper
housewife upset because her laundry machines are broken
Dryer runs all day
clothes get warm, but wet remains.
Replace the vent now.

A lonely psycho
so desperate for women
he pees on his clothes.

Washer does not drain
the tub spins but water stays.
Check these: belt, pump, drain.


Dishwasher won’t drain,
motor runs. Oy! What a pain.
The drain port is clogged.

Toaster will not heat.
It cost 20 dollars new.
Fixed for 80 bucks.

Ice cream is melting.
Backwall coated with rime ice.
Check defrost system.

the harmonious house where all appliances are perfectly in tune with the universe

the power of a skilled appliance technician is like a mountain
Beer is getting warm.
Compressor hums then clicks off.
Replace start relay.

Nuking the kitty,
door jams. Yell at Samurai,
“Help! It’s all your fault!”

No ice for my drink.
A Whirlpool modular style.
Jumper T to H.



Oven flashing “F”
a letter and number code.
All codes are revealed.

My GE washer
gushes water during spin.
Next time buy Maytag.

Cookies keep burning.
Electronic range control.
Replace the sensor.

My husband loves beer.
Too drunk to fix spark module.
Click click click click click.

fishing for answers in the deep well of fixitnow.com

Page of bad haikus,
surely you can do better.
Please click here to write.