Appliance Repair Wisdom for the Ages

Saturday, June 29, 2002

Live Help Schedule for Saturday, 6/29/2002 I'm watching "Oh Brother Where Art Thou?" right now but when that's done, I'll be online for live help. Say around 9:30 pm eastern time. Ok, talk to you later.

Samurai Appliance Repair Man cast these pearls at 19:30 ET.  [permalink]

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Friday, June 28, 2002

Had my ass kicked on a 15-mile section hike on the Appalachian Trail (AT) today. This section began at Lyme-Dorchester Road summitting Smarts Mountain and Mt. Cube and ended at NH Rte 25A. Ouzo and I started on the trail at 1005 hours this morning and got off at the Mt. Cube trail head at 1635 hours. Susan and the kids picked me up at 1700 hours and ferried me back to my truck at the Smarts Mountain trail head.

Why did this hike kick my ass? Afterall, I've done plenty of hikes with much steeper grades and higher summits than this one. I think it came down to humidity and trail conditions. At lower elevations, the air was so humid that water kept condensing on my eye glasses. This very annoying psychrometric reality once again reminded me just how badly it sucks to have to wear glasses. But, with 20/400 vision (legally blind in some states), hiking without glasses is a great way to bust ass big time. Also, all the rain we've had lately has made the rocks extremely slippery with new-growth algae. This was especially annoying ascending Smarts Mountain where every third or fourth step was a jolting slip. After four miles of that, I was one soggy, pissed-off cracker. By the time I approached the summit of Smarts, my vocabulary had degenerated into a near-constant stream of choice X-rated words.

And I sweated more on this hike than on any of the other hikes I've done so far this season. At one point, I realized that I had salt deficiency, evidenced by an inexplicable energy crash. I popped a couple of salt pills and electrolytic harmony was restored. That's a tricky one to catch because it can fool you into thinking that you need to eat more when what you really need is plain ol' salt.

Met several AT-thru and long-section hikers. All had been on the trail for at least six weeks. ACK! I can't imagine living on the trail that long. It goes on for five months for the folks that thru-hike the entire AT. I admire these people immensely. They're almost always young people, 20-somethings, and they make me optimistic about the future of this country when everyone else makes you think the whole country's going to shit. Anticipating encounters with them, I try to bring along stuff to give them that they don't normally get in trail life: chocolate, tobacco, alcohol, and toilet paper, all of which are highly prized by thru-hikers. Oh, I know, you're thinking, "But these are back-to-earth, starry-eyed, granola-crunchers, why would they want such things?" You go spend several weeks in the woods--you'd be surprised at what you start craving. So I'm giving out bars of Ghirardelli chocolate, packs of Camels, cans of Skoal, pints of Jack Daniels, and rolls of Charmin to eager, grateful thru-hikers. It's called Trail Magic in the AT culture. It's a good thing.

Samurai Appliance Repair Man cast these pearls at 23:42 ET.  [permalink]

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Thursday, June 27, 2002

Finally uploaded some pics from the Mt. Garfield (06102002) and Osceola (06202002) Hillstomps. We bad!

Samurai Appliance Repair Man cast these pearls at 11:09 ET.  [permalink]

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Wednesday, June 26, 2002

Special Announcement: Dizzy-Dazey has been inducted into the Forum Fools Hall of Fame. Congratulations, Dizzy!

Samurai Appliance Repair Man cast these pearls at 16:57 ET.  [permalink]

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Here's a fun game to relieve stress and boredom. Thanks for the link, Brain!

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Two kick-ass hikes in two days! Monday, Ouzo and I bagged Mt. Hale (elev. 4054 ft.), one of New Hampshire's 48, 4,000 footer peaks. We went up the Hale Brook Trail and returned on the Zealand Trail for a round trip of a little more than eight miles. Perfect weather, clear blue skies with enough of a breeze to keep the blood suckers off without needing DEET. The Hale Brook Trail is a nice climb to the summit, some of it through a cool birch forest. Didn't see anyone else on the trail, either. Now the Zealand Trail was another story. Being a flat, easy trail, it was a freakin' highway through the woods with lots of pastey, overweight office-types smelling like soap in clean, pressed hiking clothes unstained by sweat or grime. Several people looked resentful at seeing a dog on the trail. It's a wilderness area, not Disneyland, you Twinkie! Some people go to a wilderness area and think it's gonna be like walking in a man-made park with concession stands and toilets and lots of other people to be annoyed at and complain about. Kinda like I'm doing now.

Then on Tuesday, a contingent of Hillstompers, including Ouzo and me, bagged three more peaks on The List. We bagged Mts. Willey, Field, and Tom in a nine mile, peak-bagging extravaganza. The merry entourage included: Kurk (human), Tim (humanoid), Anna (humid), Brett (humus), me (inhuman), Bruno (canine, shepherd-lab mix), Bula (canine, lab-other stuff mix), and Ouzo (canine, German Shepherd). The extremely steep, slippery ascent up Mt. Willey included ladders up the steeper sections of the rock slide portions of the trail. The dogs all need more ladder training. Bula and Bruno did OK negotiating the ladders until they reached one of them that was missing a rung. Ouzo sucked on the ladders. He'd boldly jump right on them and start scampering madly, hind legs frequently missing the rungs. He fell off one of the ladders, slid down the rock and crashed into a log. I felt my nuts clinch as I scrambled down to grab Ouzo, fearing he might have damaged or broken a shoulder. But he seemed fine and finished the hike, staying with me the whole time. Weather was partly to mostly cloudy with light sprinkles toward the end of the hike. Unlike yesterday, the winds where very calm so the black flies were in a blood frenzy, frantically seeking any crack of skin not slathered in DEET. I got more than a few choice bites, including several on my privates from those little perverse scions of Hell flying right up my hiking shorts going for the family jewels. And I got my first black fly bite ever right in my butt crack WITHOUT dropping my shorts. Thank you, thank you.

These are physically intense hikes that take all day, including the hour and a half drive time, each way, to and from the trail head. And when I get home, I typically eat a late dinner that Susan saves for me, say hi to the kids while quaffing a couple of beers, and then pass out on the couch with Ouzo while watching Comedy Central. Not much time left over for web-work but I sure appreciate the hell outta Jeff's and You Hurt My Brain's excellent help answering posts in the forum!

Today is a down day so I'll be here at the house doing domestic Dad stuff like antagonizing the kids, bothering the wife, and mutiliating the lawn. The forecast is calling for severe thunderstorms for the next two or three days. Since I probably won't be hiking, I'll be on-line dishing out more appliance disinformation in the forum and maybe even adding some new content to my website. The smoking lamp is lit, smoke 'em if you got 'em.

Samurai Appliance Repair Man cast these pearls at 04:55 ET.  [permalink]

Sunday, June 23, 2002

Dizzy-Dazey is still at it, whining and complaining. If she'd stop running her mouth so much, she might actually fix something. I think the real help she needs is here. And to help her along on her journey to mental health, I wrote her this haiku:

Like pearls tossed to swine,
give free washer repair help,
still she squeals and whines.

Samurai Appliance Repair Man cast these pearls at 10:19 ET.  [permalink]

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Netscape version 4.7x has a problem with how it handles java. As a result, people coming to my website using one of these versions would cause my HumanClick console to load up and it would drive me crazy. I finally added a little snippet of java code to each of my webpages that detects these odious browsers and sends them to this page in the hopes of encouraging them to upgrade their browser. For crying out loud, people, it's FREE! Why would you continue surfing the web with an antique browser when you can upgrade to a much better version for FREE?

Samurai Appliance Repair Man cast these pearls at 10:13 ET.  [permalink]

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Friday, June 21, 2002

Kudos to Appliance Studbuckette You Hurt My Brain for writing a sensitive, New Age haiku and limerick to wrap up the Dizzy-Dazey thread.

Samurai Appliance Repair Man cast these pearls at 21:21 ET.  [permalink]

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Thursday, June 20, 2002

Awesome hike up the Osceolas today! We bagged both East Osceola and Mt. Osceola. Here's the route we took:

Except we started at the Greeley Pond trailhead and ended at the Mt. Osceola trailhead. Total mileage was something over 10. Just four intrepid souls and their two faithful canine companions. The dogs both did great on the vertical ascent up East Osceola, with a little help from their humans. Had a nice long stay at the summit despite the black flies in a blood frenzy. (Got some good bites, too) I love how my body feels wrung out and beat-to-shit after a good ass-kicking hike. I'm gonna sleep good tonight! Pictures from this hike, the Moosilauke and Mt. Garfield hikes are all coming soon.

Samurai Appliance Repair Man cast these pearls at 22:44 ET.  [permalink]

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Wednesday, June 19, 2002

WARNING: Cheesedork Alert! Dazey is a classic cheesedork who apparently believes that it's her Constitutional right to have her appliances repaired for free. Gas Man did a nice, albeit semi-literate, job of mocking her. But Brain's post was really the coup de grace--way to go, Brain! Dazey, you won't find a very sympathetic audience here, Toots. And, hey, lemme hear that door smack your ass on your way out.

Samurai Appliance Repair Man cast these pearls at 15:09 ET.  [permalink]

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Congratulations to Brewer, the latest inductee into the venerable brotherhood of Fermented Appliance Geeks.

Samurai Appliance Repair Man cast these pearls at 09:38 ET.  [permalink]

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Tuesday, June 18, 2002

TagBoard is having problems staying online. In the short time I've been using it on this page, it's had several outages. Lately, at least once a day. I wouldn't mind so much except that when it goes down, it prevents the rest of the page content from loading. Well, you get what you pay for and only paid $15 for the "enhanced" version. When I get too disgusted with it, I just remove it from the page until it seems to be working again. So, if you don't see the message board in the right-hand, shaded column, you'll know that TagBoard is having a flare up of cranial-rectal colocation. Wouldn't it be sweet, sweet irony if the free, ad-supported version had 100% up-time?

Samurai Appliance Repair Man cast these pearls at 22:16 ET.  [permalink]

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One of my cats, Lovey, is driving me insane with her nightly rodent gifts. It wouldn't be so bad if she would at least kill them before bringing them into the house. But she insists that I eat them while they're still writhing and squeeking. So, every night around 1 am, she brings me a live rodent snack. Live or dead, I've never been a big fan of eating rodents. But I don't know how to tell Lovey this without hurting her feelings. Oh sure, I'll still eat them when she brings them in because I don't want her to think that her efforts are unappreciated. It's the thought that counts...right? The problem started when I finally installed a cat door after my wife had been nagging me about it for weeks. She was tired of Lovey waking her up several times during the night wanting to go out hunting. So we find ourselves in a situation where we have more rodents in the house because of a cat. The other night she brought in a live baby squirrel. It escaped under the dishwasher and went behind the wall where, presumably, it's now happily chewing through sheet rock and live electrical wires. Last night, she brought in two field mice. I was able to catch them with gloved hands, wring their necks and pop them in my mouth before they escaped to other parts of the house. It's gotten so bad that I had a rodent nightmare last night. I heard a high-pitched rodent squeeking coming from the tool drawer in the kitchen. I pulled open the drawer to see a small squirrel raping a loudly protesting chipmunk. I pulled the brutish squirrel off the chipmunk and bit its head off. Then I ate the chipmunk. Chipmunks taste even worse than mice. The solution to this sorry domestic situation is to send Lovey to Mousing School where she can learn how to kill the rodents she catches. I spent hours searching the internet for such a school but, alas, to no avail. If anyone knows of a mousing school for cats, please email me. Domo.

Samurai Appliance Repair Man cast these pearls at 11:00 ET.  [permalink]

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Monday, June 17, 2002

A big welcome to Mad Mac, the latest appliance guru to help out in answering posts in the Samurai School of Appliantology!

Samurai Appliance Repair Man cast these pearls at 21:17 ET.  [permalink]

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Sunday, June 16, 2002

Ahh, there's nothing like hiking in a steady, driving, cold rain. We decided not to attempt Mt. Washington because of the forecast calling for snow, freezing rain, and sub-freezing temps. So, Mike, Dina, Ouzo, and I hiked 11 soggy miles on the Monadnock-Sunapee Greenway. Many times we were hiking through streams and ponds in what is normally firm, dry trail. This was beyond the mud stage--we've had so much rain that water is pooling up along stretches of saturated soil.

When we started off at Pitcher Mountain, it was raining steadily so we threw our ponchos on over our packs and headed off. At the top of Pitcher Mountain (and all the other exposed sections of the hike) the wind was kicking up, whipping rain into our faces and making our ponchos flap wildly. Since it was a chilly 47F, we doffed our ponchos and put on our waterproof shells in an futile attempt to stay drier and warmer. As long as we kept moving at a pretty good pace, we could stay reasonably warm despite the frigid rain.

The other challenge was the slippery footing. All the rocks and roots were so slick that it was like they were coated with ice. We each had a turn at some pretty spectacular tumbles. Fortunately, no one was seriously hurt beyond bruised butts and egos. One nice thing about all the rain though: no bugs! Usually, this time of year along that stretch of trail you'd have to have a thick coat of DEET on every square millimeter of exposed flesh to keep the frenzied mosquitoes from extracting quarts of your blood. Even the blood suckers had enough sense to stay outta this kind of rain. But we didn't. Who's really higher up on the evolutionary scale?

When we reached the Washington shelter, we set our packs inside and headed for the Washington General Store for their famous cheeseburger subs. Back at the shelter, where it was still raining steadily, we reached a spontaneous consensus to reconvene the camping portion of our trip back at my house in our popup camper. Mike and Dina headed off this morning for Bretton Woods, NH, for Dina's IFA meeting. We may get another shot at Mt. Washington on Monday if the weather clears up.

Many thanks to Jeff, the webmaster of ApplianceAid.com for answering questions in the Samurai School of Appliantology while I was out gettin' soggy. Thanks, Jeff!

Samurai Appliance Repair Man cast these pearls at 19:42 ET.  [permalink]

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Friday, June 14, 2002

TagBoard is having cranial-rectal colocation problems so I've temporarily taken it down.

Samurai Appliance Repair Man cast these pearls at 16:04 ET.  [permalink]

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I won't be online much today. My friends from Texas, Mike and Dina Owens, will arrive this evening so I'll be getting ready for them, picking up all the beer cans in the yard and scraping foreign life forms outta the toilet. Tomorrow we're headed up to Mt. Washington for a peak bagging hike...maybe. The weather is looking pretty bad: freezing rain and snow. That's enough to make even a hardcore hiker like myself think twice about such hostile conditions before attempting a hike up Mt. Washington. Plan B is a section hike along the Monadnock-Sunapee Greenway, specifically, the section from Pitcher Mountain to the the town of Washington, NH. We'd overnight at the Adirondak shelter at Washington. IF I can talk sense into Mike and Dina. So, the upshot of all this whining is that I ain't gonna be online for live help or answering posts in the forum until Sunday evening. I leave you in the capable and experienced hands of other gurus at the forum: YHMBrain, Jeff, Brewer, and Douggiestyle.

Samurai Appliance Repair Man cast these pearls at 08:08 ET.  [permalink]

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Thursday, June 13, 2002

Here's a good one from Brain: I think that signals a reeeal long lunch break!

Samurai Appliance Repair Man cast these pearls at 23:47 ET.  [permalink]

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Wednesday, June 12, 2002

Congratulations to Brain and Douggiestyle! Brain has reached 100 posts and is now the Samurai School of Appliantology's one and only self-appointed Appliance Studbuckette. The Grand Council of Fermented Appliance Geeks has appointed Douggiestyle to the rank of Appliance Guru, 1st Class. Congratulations to both!

Samurai Appliance Repair Man cast these pearls at 15:40 ET.  [permalink]

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Live Help Schedule for Wednesday, 6/12/2002 We're getting flooded out up here in New Hampster. Raining steadily all day, water pooling up in the yard, NOAA has even issued flood watch alerts for the region. Sooo, can't go hiking, can't work in the yard or on the house, guess I'll have to be online all day today. Talk to you later.

Samurai Appliance Repair Man cast these pearls at 12:55 ET.  [permalink]

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I had a nightmare last night. I was in a big room, like a conventional hall. It was just me, my wife, Susan, and a few friends. There was a fridge there that I had loaded with all our favorite beers, including Coronitas for Susan. All of a sudden, the place filled up with people, cackling and gabbing. I had no idea who these people were or where they came from but they were helping themselves to all my beer. I went to the fridge to get a Coronita for Susan and they were all gone. Looking around, I saw several people pounding 'em down. All the Red Stripes, my favorites, were gone, too. I felt the bile burning the back of my throat. And then I woke up in a cold sweat. I ran to the fridge in the kitchen to make sure there was still beer there. I pulled out a Red Stripe, gulped it down and then went back to bed.

Samurai Appliance Repair Man cast these pearls at 10:54 ET.  [permalink]

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Tuesday, June 11, 2002

Major trunkline outage at my cable internet provider, Adelphia, prevented me from getting on at all yesterday. Well, that and I did a really cool hike up Mt. Garfield with the Hillstompers yesterday.

Lots of posts to catch up on in the Samurai School of Appliantology so I'll be online at various times throughout the day today and then on all night tonight. Talk to you later.

Samurai Appliance Repair Man cast these pearls at 10:02 ET.  [permalink]

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Sunday, June 09, 2002

Never made it online for live help Saturday or Sunday. Went hiking Saturday and managed to throw my back out so I was planted on the couch all Saturday night and Sunday.

Samurai Appliance Repair Man cast these pearls at 10:47 ET.  [permalink]

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Saturday, June 08, 2002

Live Help Schedule for Saturday, 6/8/2002 I'll be on starting later this afternoon and should be available through most of the evening.

Samurai Appliance Repair Man cast these pearls at 08:41 ET.  [permalink]

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Friday, June 07, 2002

Looks like we'll get enough of a break in the rain today that Ouzo and I can squeeze in a hike. We'll head out to Pillsbury State Park in Washington, NH. My favorite trip is Bear Pond Trail up to the Monadnock-Sunapee Greenway and then head north to Lucia's Lookout, one of my favorite places on the planet. We'll come down the Five Summers trail, which should be nice and muddy this time of year, especially after all this rain we've had. And I can already feel the sting of the skeeters and black flies, ahhh!

wanted to head up to Gorham, NH, to recon Moose Brook State Park and do a hike up there in preparation for my friends from Texas, Mike and Dina Owens, coming up for a visit next week. We're going to day hike Mt. Washington just like we did with the Hillstompers last year. Another day.

Samurai Appliance Repair Man cast these pearls at 02:10 ET.  [permalink]

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Thursday, June 06, 2002

Well, never made it to live help tonight. Just couldn't get motivated. Ooo, The Daily Show is on. Gotta run.

Samurai Appliance Repair Man cast these pearls at 23:18 ET.  [permalink]

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HA! They thought they could fool the Samurai with a question about those new-fangled electronic icemakers...ok, so they really did fool me, but not for long! Hey, I just checked my server logs and discovered that no one ever reads this page! Well, almost no one. I check it after I make an entry to make sure it uploaded. Ok, cool, I can say whatever I want so here goes: "save Green Stamps." I know, pretty subversive stuff, but that's me: one rad dude.

Samurai Appliance Repair Man cast these pearls at 13:52 ET.  [permalink]

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Live Help Schedule for Thursday, 6/6/2002 It's a rainy, cloudy day today so I'll be hanging around the 'pooter, on and off live help throughout the day. I'll be on steadily this evening. Ok, later on, m'bassoo.

Samurai Appliance Repair Man cast these pearls at 08:46 ET.  [permalink]

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Wednesday, June 05, 2002

Day Two: Family Gone
Peace, quiet, contemplation
just rip out my guts

Samurai Appliance Repair Man cast these pearls at 23:21 ET.  [permalink]

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Now why can't I get more users like jcubed: appreciative of all the information at my site and willing to buy me beer. The beer fund donations merely defray the cost of running this site. They do not cover all the costs. "Will work for beer." Hello, is this thing on? Ok, gotta go poke out my other eye now...

Samurai Appliance Repair Man cast these pearls at 22:57 ET.  [permalink]

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Live Help Schedule for Wednesday, 6/5/2002 I'll be on starting late this afternoon/early evening 'till whenever, depending on activity at the site. Ok, talk to you later.

Samurai Appliance Repair Man cast these pearls at 12:36 ET.  [permalink]

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Tuesday, June 04, 2002

Took out the YACCS comment code because it was making this page take forever to load. I can't stand slow-loading pages. Not worth the overhead. Nobody was making comments anyway so, **POOF** it's outta here.

Samurai Appliance Repair Man cast these pearls at 19:04 ET.  [permalink]

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Oh, shit, as if one psycho wasn't enough, now I've got People for the Ethical Treatment of Toast threatening legal action about my banner. Can't we all just get along?

Samurai Appliance Repair Man cast these pearls at 10:53 ET.  [permalink]

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They left me today: the Spousal Unit and the three Reproductive Units. Going away for two weeks on their annual pilgrimage to Atlanta. It's just me and Ouzo for two weeks. Man and dog. Two weeks. Arf, err, I mean Argh! Live Help Schedule for Tuesday, 6/4/2002 Nothing this morning, sporadic this afternoon, then I'll be live this evening for as much as I can stand it.

Samurai Appliance Repair Man cast these pearls at 10:22 ET.  [permalink]

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Monday, June 03, 2002

Douggiestyle has made some posts in the forum that clearly demonstrate wisdom beyond his current title of Appliance Guru Apprentice. The Supreme Council promotes him to Appliance Guru, 2nd Class. Congratulations, Doug!

Samurai Appliance Repair Man cast these pearls at 16:50 ET.  [permalink]

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Live Help Schedule for Monday, 6/3/2002 Don't count on live help today. It's a really pretty day today so I'll be outside, romping and frolicking, drinking beer and gettin' nekked. YEAH! ...well, probably not but I sure as sputum ain't plantin' my skinny butt in front of the slave box to play tippety-tap in the keyboard. The Spousal Unit and the Reproductive Units are leaving tomorrow morning for the annual pilgrimage to Atlanta so I'll be helping them get ready for their trip. I'll still be checking in with the forum periodically to answer questions, so post away.

Samurai Appliance Repair Man cast these pearls at 09:07 ET.  [permalink]

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A little disappointed in Ol' Lonely. The Maytag name on an appliance is usually a stamp of quality. But the Neptune line of front-loading washers has been a disaster. Tons of bugs. I have a notebook of tech notes on all Maytag appliances for which I get updates from Maytag each month. Most of the laundry tech notes deal with some bug revision for Maytag Neptunes. For front-loading washers, The Whirlpool Duet (also sold under the Kenmore name) and Gibson (Frigidaire) seem to be the way to go. Ol' Lonely needs to take another crack at it.

Samurai Appliance Repair Man cast these pearls at 02:10 ET.  [permalink]

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Sunday, June 02, 2002

Live Help Update I don't feel like doing live help tonight. I'm kinda burned out on this whole web thing and I need a break. Maybe it's time to get a real job...like licking the urinals in the men's room at the Texaco. Ok, if you have a Texaco near you, please lemme know. Domo.

Samurai Appliance Repair Man cast these pearls at 20:21 ET.  [permalink]

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Live Help Schedule for Sunday, 6/2/2002 I won't be available for live help until the evening, after about 6, or so. (New Hampshire time, of course).

Samurai Appliance Repair Man cast these pearls at 00:18 ET.  [permalink]

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Damn, that dude Jack Handy, now he can write some funny shit!

Samurai Appliance Repair Man cast these pearls at 00:16 ET.  [permalink]

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Saturday, June 01, 2002

Ahhh, more helpers in the forum. I'll take all I can get! Douggiestyle's been pitching in helping to answer posts. Doing a good job, too! Thanks, Doug!

Samurai Appliance Repair Man cast these pearls at 10:01 ET.  [permalink]

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Got a dude at the forum, NagoyaDryer, who's over in Japan with his wife and four kids. His gas dryer's broken and I've taken him through all the standard checks. I know I could fix it if I were there--I've never met a dryer I couldn't fix--but 'splaining a subtle problem to a Greenhorn can be tricky. If you have the trick, please post it in the thread here. Domo.

Samurai Appliance Repair Man cast these pearls at 09:46 ET.  [permalink]

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Live Help Schedule for Saturday, 6/1/2002 Saturday mornings are a big DIY day, lots o' traffic at the website, so I'll be on for a couple hours in the morning. I'll try to make a special guest appearance during the afternoon. And then I'll be on steadily in the evening from about 7-ish to whenever, depending on activity at the site.

Samurai Appliance Repair Man cast these pearls at 00:53 ET.  [permalink]

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Added that cool comments thang. Go ahead, try it out. Click the little comments link below. Maybe even say something. Tell me a little about yerbadself. Here's a bit about me.

Samurai Appliance Repair Man cast these pearls at 00:27 ET.  [permalink]

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