“Who Are You and What’s Your Problem, Dude?”

“Who Are You and What’s Your Problem, Dude?”

Yep, that’s a question I get asked all the time. Well, Hoss, it’s like this…

As a little boy, Samurai Appliance Repair Man showed a strong talent for hardly anything. Even in school, he was at the top of his class in mediocrity. Later, when he was kidnapped by a marauding band of sheep, he developed other important life skills, especially making animal noises and licking himself. Those skills would serve him well after he returned to civilization in his career as a volunteer in government-sponsored mind control experiments. Unfortunately, both he and his government programmers would later suffer nervous breakdowns and become institutionalized.

After being released from the New Hampshire Institute for the Hopelessly Insane, Samurai Appliance Repair Man set out to build a self-help appliance repair website, suffering from delusions that broken appliances mock and dishonor him. Although still a very sick man, the Samurai offers repair help in the world famous Samurai School of Appliantology and he makes real-life service calls!

Help the Samurai get well. Give to the United Samurai Beer Fund®–“Because a mind is a terrible thing to not be wasted.”

You can keep with how the Samurai’s therapy is going by subscribing to his informative, albeit mildly disturbing, newsletter, Appliantology: The Oracle of Appliance Enlightenment. Yes, Grasshopper, now you, too, can receive the Samurai’s secret pearls of appliance repair wisdom delivered to your email in a discreet brown wrapper. Taunt your friends and delight your enemies with your amazing new knowledge! Just enter your email address below. And, no, the Samurai would never stoop to selling or sharing your email address and you can opt out at any time.

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Appliantology Archive

Samurai Appliance Repair Man
(aka, Scott M. Brown )


Licenses and Certifications


Military Service

  • U.S. Navy, Active Duty 1977-1980, Active Reserves 1980-1982. Honorable Discharge.


When I’m not fixing things or screwing around with this website (which has been too damn much lately), I like to antagonize my kids or bother my wife. They’re usually thankful when I take off for a few days backpacking and they act appropriately happy to see me when I return. And when they get sick of me, they kick me out to go hiking in the White Mountains with my German Shepherd hiking partner, Bubba. But sometimes, I’ll drag my kids along, too! During the winter, I give my family a break by strapping on the snowshoes and trudging out into the tundra, mile after mile, in search of the mythical yellow snow.

If you are morbidly curious, you can check out all my hiking and appliance repair photo galleries.

I married my graduate school sweetheart, Susan, on May 13, 1989, in the sprawling metropolis of Conyers, GA, and since then we’ve lived in Chicago, Minneapolis, and our present home since 1994 in New London, NH. Using ancient recombinant DNA in-utero fertilization techniques, together we have spawned three reproductive units with the designated nomenclatures of “Ivey,” “Stephen,” and “Sam.”

“But wait! What’s with the Samurai schtick?”

Ok, I’ll tell you. It’s my own strange brew of John Belushi’s Samurai skits and Toshiro Mifune’s chracters in the Akira Kurosawa films, Yojimbo and Sanjuro.