Appliance Repair Wisdom for the Ages

Saturday, September 21, 2002

Live Help Update

Well, the MPU and her SU bid their sad farewells today, heading back home to Hotlanta. So I once again assume the meditative pose, preparing for the inevitable onslaught of penetrating and insightful questions on live help. Ahh, here's a "Special Grasshopper" ringing me up for live help now. C'mon, have a listen:

Special Grasshopper: My washer doesn't wash anymore. Any ideas?
Me: What brand is the washer?
Special Grasshopper: I don't know.
Me: Have you read the online washer manual here at this website?
Special Grasshopper: No. Why do you even have live help if I have to read stuff?
Me: Ok, does the washer agitate?
Special Grasshopper: What does 'agitate' mean? Stop using technical jargon, please!
Me: Ok, here's whatcha do: unplug the washer and coil the cord nice and neat.
Special Grasshopper: [after a delay] Alright, I did that. Now what?
Me: Very good! Now turn off the water valves and disconnect the water hoses to the washer.
Special Grasshopper: [after a longer delay] One of the water hoses is stuck and I can't get it loose!
Me: No problem, just cut the hose.
Special Grasshopper: [after a very long delay] Ok, finally got it cut. That rubber is tough! Now what?
Me: Ok, you're doing great! Now load the washer up in your pick up truck and drop it off at a local appliance dealer.
Special Grasshopper: Alright, what should I tell them?
Me: Tell them you're giving it away because you're too stupid to own a washer.
Special Grasshopper: Ok, so they'll fix it for me for free then?
Me: Oh, yeah, they'll fix you right up. Have a nice day.

Mooshi-Mooshi!

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