Say Konichiwa to Kujira

Don’t you hate those impersonal, faceless websites? Even the websites that are out there to help you in some way try to hide behind some impersonal website identity. That sucks! If the internet isn’t about bringing people together tête-à-tête, then it’s simply another way for us to build walls between each other. Well I say, “Mr. Internet, tear down these walls!” And we’re doing ezzacly that here at Fixitnow.com Samurai Appliance Repair Man.

Just like the name says, this website is run by an appliance repair man: ME (with lots of help and understanding from my lovely wife, uhh, What’s-her-name). And the Samurai makes himself easily accessible to his grasshoppers. I do this through frequent updates to this blog (that’s geek-speak for weblog–this page you’re reading now is a blog), dishing out repair advice in The Appliantology Group, yakking with folks on the Toll-Free Appliance Repair Hotline, and in chat on Yahoo Messenger and Live Person.

Well, now we’ve done one bettah.

Several months ago, I decided we needed a Site Hostess (SiteHo for short) to help establish a personal connection with our visitors. So, I formed an internet-based focus group to test the idea. Unfortunately, I was so busy pulling hair outta the drains, or scraping dirt out from under my fingernails, or something, that I never got a chance to talk to anyone in the group. But I think they concluded that adding a SiteHo would be a great thing to do. And so began the great SiteHo search!

I spent literally minutes scouring all the cyber geisha houses I could find looking for that special lady to greet our valued visitors and let them know about some of the many repair resources available to them here at this colossus of appliance repair help, Fixitnow.com Samurai Appliance Repair Man. But they were all so damned expensive! Finally, we found Kujira–sweet, cheap Kujira.

Your SiteHo, KujiraYeah, we got Kujira at a fire-sale price because she suffers from a hormonal condition. You see, when she entered puberty, Kujira was afflicted with a rare hormonal imbalance which caused her voice to deepen so much that it sounded like a man’s voice. The condition is called Basso Feminino Exclaima, which is the Latin medical term meaning, “Dayyam! She sounds like a guy!”

With her prospects as an internet geisha girl dimmed by her affliction, Kujira jumped at the opportunity I offered her. So, if you haven’t already, scroll up to the top of page and say konichiwa to our new SiteHo, Kujira. She’d love to talk with you.


 

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