Category Archives: General Appliance Wisdom

Appliance Tip of the Day: Appliance Service Calls

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I’ve always had a bushy head of hair and I usually don’t bother trimming my beard. So, this is how I used to look when I’d go out for a service call:


before the shearing

But I started thinking maybe I was scaring my customers. Little things, like I go up to the house and knock on the door and they’d answer with a shotgun in their hands. So, I figgered I better git me a hair cut and now I look like this:

after the shearing

And would you believe that when I go out on service calls, I still get people answering the door armed!? That’s what I love about this bidness–there’s just no telling what people will do!

Frequently Asked Questions

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Running a free appliance repair website, I get many questions that come up over and over again. To cut down on the amount of time I spend answering redundant questions, I’ve prepared this list of Frequently Asked Questions, which will be updated as conditions warrant.

Q. My washer takes forever to fill up. What gives?
A. You need to replace the fill valve.

Q. What can you tell me about a Montgomery Ward Refrigerator?
A. Nothing I haven’t already told this guy.

Q. My range is flashing an F-something. How can I find out what it means?
A. All is revealed here, my child.

Q. Why should I give money to your beer fund instead of some white supremist group or the Hare Krishnas?
A. Because we need the money more than either of the two aforementioned groups and we have better taste in beer.

Q. What’s the longest time you’ve been sober?
A. Define “sober.”

Q. My fridge is getting warm, what should I do?
A. Check out these things and get back to me.

Q. I heard that you lick the urinals at the Texaco.
A. That’s not a question.

Q. Oh, sorry. Are you still licking the urinals at the Texaco?
A. No, I’m at the Amoco now.

Q. Do you repair toasters?
A. Absolutely! Lots of information here that may help you.

Q. Which is worse: beastiality or pedophilia?
A. Umm, let’s ask the Ayatollah.

Q. What’s your problem, Dude?
A. They think it’s congenital and probably contagious, maybe even by just reading this. You see, once upon a time, there were three eyeballs walking…

Q. What do you think of animal rights?
A. I think all animals have the right to get in my belly.

Q. What type of icemaker do I have?
A. I dunno, you tell me.

Q. Have they taken out the catheter yet?
A. Not yet. Just one more year to go!

Q. What do the doctors say about your condition?
A. They say to avoid answering tedious questions like this one.

Q. My microwave door is stuck, how can I get it open?
A. This page has full disassembly procedures.

Q. How can I use aroma therapy to diagnose my refrigerator?
A. I still haven’t figured that one out. But a good place to start looking is right here.

The Samurai’s Rules of Etiquette

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Turn away when spitting lest your saliva fall on someone. If anything purulent falls on the ground, it should be trodden upon, lest it nauseate someone.

To lick greasy fingers or to wipe them on your coat is impolite. It is better to use a tablecloth or the serviette.

Some people put their hands in the dishes the moment they sat down. Wolves do that.

You should not offer your hankerchief to anyone unless it is freshly washed. Nor is it seemly, after wiping your nose, to spread out your hankerchief and peer into it as if pearls and rubies might have fallen out of your head.

Do not be afraid of vomiting, if you must; for it is not the vomiting but holding the vomit in your throat that is foul.

If you cannot swallow a piece of food, turn around and discreetly throw it somewhere.

Do not move back and forth in your chair. Whoever does that gives the impression of constantly breaking wind or trying to break wind.

Retain the wind by compressing the belly.

Erasmus (c.1530)