Appliance Repair Wisdom for the Ages

Friday, January 31, 2003

Ahh, yes, the Appliance Usage Handbook: the bible of optimal appliance usage. This fine comprehensive reference was compiled by Maytag and is invaluable for answering questions on using your washer and dryer, dishwasher, stove and refrigerator.

Additionally, this valuable handbook contains information on the basic operation of all household major appliances, regardless of brand. I refer to it all the time when answering appliance questions. It's a two-inch thick, three-ring binder crammed full of arcane and exceedingly useful appliance information such as:

• answers to common appliance usage questions,
• solutions to common problems,
• energy conservation ideas,
• stain removal for washers and dryers,
• cooking basics for stoves,
• what not to wash in your dishwasher and why,
• and tons of other stuff too detailed to get into here.

Oh, I know what you're saying. You're saying, "Ok, Samurai Cyclops, how do I get one?" Great question! I will send this cornucopia of appliance wisdom as a gift to the first five grasshoppers who contribute $25 or more to the United Samurai Beer Fund. That's right, I only have five copies left. If you've been thinking about making a contribution to the Beer Fund but have been putting it off because you had to pull hair outta the drain or something, then this little pearl should be enough to nudge you into going ahead and doing it. Go ahead, all your other friends are doing it.

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