Even in the best of circumstances, it can be a battle doing appliance repair. But in the inner cities of modern Ameedica, like Deetroit, it’s an all out war zone. Check out this appliance repair war story from my brother-at-arms in the The Craft, Da Detroit Kaveman:

I listened to one of your podcasts about customers from Hell. I’ve got a few. I had one customer who another tech had diagnosed a timer for his washer and I went out there to put the thing on. Man, this gets weird so hold on. Remember this is Deetroit, I arrived at about 8:30 in the A.M. and found the house in between two burned out homes, (very common in Detroit, neighbors burn them down so people don’t use deserted houses for crack houses), anyways, I got there and this guy starts walking towards the truck, he was a caucasin and had a police badge around his neck and a big gun around his waist, t-shirt, and dirty trousers. He says,” this is my parents house, right this way” So, I follow him in thru the front room where an elderly lady who had a pungent odor about her greeted me with,” hope you fix it today” I said Yes Maam.

Anyways, I go downstairs with this guy and this big, I mean big dog is by his side the whole way down barking at me like he wants me for his snack, the guy tells the dog to be quiet, but the dog doesn’t even listen, the guy gets me downstairs, dog, still barking really loud, he shows me the washer, and I suddenly felt an aroma of dog feces, that was slowing invading my whole being, I mean it was thick with hair of the dog, I look at the machine, the guy is standing behind me , I started to gag, and vomit at the same time, eyes watering.

Heres where it gets really wierd, the guy stands there gun, dog barking, dog poop, and thru my watering eyes and vomit filled mouth, I notice he is standing in front of about sixty dog cages filled with dogs, cages all stacked on top of each other, with feces all falling down on each other, horrible, about 8 high, and 15 long, if not more I guess eight times fifteen is more than sixty. It was like something out of a horror movie, the guy stood there as I started to run out before losing my wonderful breakfast of sausage, eggs, rye toast with extra butter. I walked very fast to my truck and as I was leaving the guys says, “whats wrong,” I say I’ll be right back . I called from the truck and told him he would have to make the place a little less smelly and that I had a weak stomach.

Truth is don’t know what was going on there, and I was afraid to report him to the police cause he was one. Weirdest call ever. I bet if you had a contest no one could top that one.

Peace,

Jerry

Your Brother Kaveman

Appliance Repair Lesson: ALWAYS have an escape plan when doing appliance service calls in the jungles of inner city Ameedica.

I would have bailed, too. And, personally, I would absolutely call the cops for the animal cruelty going on in that basement. It’s not too late to call ’em now!