I went hiking today. It was so beautiful that I wanted to share it with you all. Happy trails!

Hiking up Kearsarge,
I met Spring’s first mosquito.
Black schmear on my shirt.

***** BEGIN SECURE TRANSMISSION *****
As many of you know, I do occasional free-lance work for the CIA. Sometime ago, the CIA requested that I do an assignment in Baghdad. I have decided to do my patriotic duty and serve my country by accepting this assignment. I boarded a chartered CIA jet a [...]

As a little boy, Samurai Appliance Repair Man showed a strong talent for hardly anything. Even in school, he was at the top of his class in mediocrity. Later, when he was kidnapped by a marauding band of sheep, he developed other important life skills, especially making animal noises and licking himself. [...]

A liberal is someone who feels a great debt to his fellow man, which debt he proposes to pay off with your money.
– G. Gordon Liddy
A government which robs Peter to pay Paul can always depend on the support of Paul.
– George Bernard Shaw
Foreign aid might be defined as a transfer from [...]

*** EXCLUSIVE! MUST CREDIT SAMURAI APPLIANCE REPAIR MAN. ***
Samurai Appliance Repair Man is live on-location here in downtown Baghdad, Iraq, doing an exclusive interview with Iraq’s Maximum Leader, Saddam Hussein. As part of the condition for granting the interview, I have promised not to reveal our location here in the Presidential Suite of [...]

Government is not reason, it is not eloquence�it is a
force! Like fire, it is a dangerous servant and a
fearful master; never for a moment should it be left
to irresponsible action.
– attributed to George Washington (possibly
apocryphal but doesn’t matter, it’s still a good
quote)
Government, in its last analysis, is organized
force.
– Woodrow Wilson
Government, even in [...]

I make up lots of goofy stories for my kids. This is the one they most often ask me to re-tell. Tell it to your kids–they’ll never look at you the same again.

Once upon a time, there were three eyeballs walking. Their names were Winky, Blinky, and Nod. They were [...]