Sidney is obviously the tragic product of yet another trailer-park momma drinking way too much malt liquor while pregnant.

Did you know that in the United States alone, literally billions of babies are born each second with Fetal Alcohol Syndrome? There is just no excuse for this type of child abuse to continue in the wealthiest nation on earth!

Even if I were able to somehow divine the information Sidney needed, it is very doubtful he would know how to apply that information. Let’s look at the signs of Fetal Alcohol syndrome so painfully evident in poor Sidney’s email:

• he omits any reference to the type or brand of appliance he’s working on,
• he writes in ALL CAPS,
• he is unable to use any kind of punctuation when writing his thoughts.

Folks, you know the Samurai loves beer as much as anyone, but listen to me now, believe me later and hear me next week: don’t drink and gestate!