Link ==> Free Appliance Repair Hotline

So, I’m doing an ‘xpearmint with a new appliance repair hotline system. This one isn’t toll-free, but it’s more than just a voicemail system, too. With this system, if I’m available, you’ll talk to me real-time when you call. If I’m not available, you can leave a voicemail message.

The purpose of the Appliance Repair Hotline is, and has always been, to help you find the resources here at Fixitnow.com Samurai Appliance Repair Man so you can fix your appliances. I can point you in the right direction in your repair and give my opinion on what the problem might be. If it turns out you need detailed instructions on an appliance repair problem, we can continue our discussion either in the repair forum or in a Live Help session.

Here’s how the new Appliance Repair Hotline works:

• Call the Appliance Repair Hotline Number: 1-775-244-6321.
• You’ll hear a greeting telling you you’ve reached Fixitnow.com Samurai Appliance Repair Man and to leave a message.
• Just start talking, as though you’re leaving a voicemail message. If I’m available, I’ll pickup the phone while you’re talking and we’ll talk about your appliance problem.
• If I’m not available, continue leaving your message.
• Your message can only be one minute long, and I get lots of voicemail, so please keep it short and sweet:

• Name. First name is all I need and don’t bother spelling your name–that just wastes time.
• Phone number. Say it twice and only give one number. Your phone number is the only thing you should say twice in your entire message.
• Type and brand of appliance. Don’t waste time leaving the model number on voicemail. If it’s a cooking appliance or a dryer, state whether it’s gas or electric.
• A brief problem description.
• A poetic expression of your great love and adoration for the Samurai, preferably a haiku rendered in traditional 5-7-5 meter. This is entirely optional; however, four out of five dentists agree that it does expedite my return call to you.

I’ll try new this system out for a while and, if it seems to work well, I’ll replace the present toll-free voicemail system in favor of this one. Ok, talk to you later.

In his relentless efforts to feed his Grasshoppers the exact grains of appliance repair wisdom they seek, the Samurai has installed a new and improved site search utility. It’s powered by Google and it works extremely well. The option to search Fixitnow.com is pre-selected so all you have to do is type in what you’re looking for. Yea verily, seek and ye shall find! Go ahead, try it out:

	Web Fixitnow.com

If you’re reading this post, that means you’ve pulled this page off our new, zippy servers in Boston and that the DNS change has propagated throughout the internet…or at least your neighborhood of the internet. Welcome to the fast lane!

Things might be a little glitchy around here for the next several days as we migrate Fixitnow.com Samurai Appliance Repair Man from our present crucible here in Hong Kong to our new servers in Boston. Our excellent web hosting company, ICDSoft.com, who we’ve been with for over a year, is based in Hong Kong and recently opened a server center in Boston.

Oh, I know what you’re saying, “Excuse me, Thrice-Blessed Samurai, but there must be more web hosting companies here in Ameedica than there are defects on GE appliances. Why then, pray tell, O Gracious One, didn’t you simply host with a U.S.-based web host to begin with?”

A reasonable question, Grasshopper, and respectfully posed. The short answer is because, just like GE appliances, U.S.-based webhosts SUCK! This website has been around since 1996–by internet standards, it’s paleolithic (for those of you in Bagdad, Kentucky, that means “reeeeel freakin’ old”). So we’ve had more than enough time to become intimately familiar with the slimy, seedy underworld of web hosting. Prior to finding ICDSoft.com, we dealt exclusively with US-based web hosting companies–mostly because we didn’t know any better. We had already been through over a dozen web hosts before we finally found ICDSoft.com. Finding them was like taking a hot, soapy shower after wallowing around in a lumpy cesspool of steaming pig manure.

Anyway, the address for the new domain name servers (DNS) for Fixitnow.com Samurai Appliance Repair Man will take several days to propagate throughout the internet. So if things seem flakey around here for the next few days, you know why. Just be patient, everything will be back to normal by mid-week.

How would you like to advertise your appliance service bidness right here at Fixitnow.com, the muthah of all appliance repair websites, for FREE! Yep, absotootely free. It’s the Appliance Servicer AD-vantage Program offered here, and ONLY here, at Fixitnow.com! All you have to do is actively participate in the repair forum at the Appliantology Group, dispensing your pearls of appliance wisdom to the teeming masses yearning for free wisdom and your ad will run in the text ad box that appears on almost every web page here at Fixitnow.com. The ad boxes look like this:

As you can see, the ad consists of a linkable header and a message that you create. Your ad will rotate with all the other ads in the queue for free as long as you’re an active participant in the forum. Sound like a great deal? That’s ‘cuz it is! To get started, set up a free user account with the Fixitnow.com Ad Server and create your ad. Don’t worry about the payment part. I’ll see the ad when I log in and if I recognize you from the repair forum, I’ll inject your ad into the system to run on the website indefinitely. Oh, did I mention that it’s FREE?

You’ve probably heard of the mystical and infernal Google Page Rank. As you can see, I’ve been beating my head against the wall trying to make sense out of Google’s Page Rank. Some months, Fixitnow.com will have a Page Rank of 6/10; other months, it’s down to 4/10. I dunno–I only keep adding content to this website and almost all of it is about appliance repair (with some goofy stuff thrown in just to keep it interesting).

Google keeps its forumula for Page Rank a secret. But they do say that the Page Rank of a website is strongly influenced by other sites that link to it. So, if you like this website and you have a website of your own, then how ’bout we help each other out by trading links? That seems to be the most reliable way for both of us to boost our Page Ranks.

To trade links, just add your website link to my links page. The link to your website will show up instantly and automatically on my links page. Then, add a link to Fixitnow.com to your website. Sometime, when I get around to it, I’ll review your website to verify that our content is compatible and that my link is on your site. Welcome aboard, sailor!

The Appliantology Group just passed the magical 1,000 mark in membership. That awwta be worth something valuable like a, like a…a Mega-Money Wealth Building System! Yeah, that’s it!

All your other friends are joining, why haven’t you?

Now you can get each of the Samurai’s pearls of wisdom as they’re unleashed, er, I mean, released to the web. Yep, you can use your flavorite RSS reader to scoop up the latests pearls without ever having to actually click over to Fixitnow.com. Now how fain�ant is that? It’s even easier if you have a My Yahoo page. Just click here and all the latest posts here at the Samurai School of Appliantology will show up right on your My Yahoo page. Oh, it’s tres cool. Oui, papa.

Add to My Yahoo

• “Why isn’t my dryer drying?”
• “Why isn’t my washer washing?”
• “Why isn’t my micro waving?”
• “Why is my refrigerator warm and my oven cold?”

Appliance problems gotcha scratching your head? Wouldn’t it be great to be able to actually talk to a Master Appliantologist and get answers to your appliance repair questions?

Once again, wantonly forsaking all the laws of sound economics, the Samurai demonstrates his utter contempt for anything even remotely resembling good bidness sense. Introducing the Toll-free Appliance Repair Hotline available here, and only here, at Fixitnow.com. Call toll-free 24 hours a day, seven days a week and leave me a message describing your appliance problem. I’ll call you back on my nickel and we’ll talk about your appliance problem. Many times, the information you need is already at my website and I can tell you where to find it. Sometimes, it’s a simple thing and I can explain how to fix it. Where else but Fixitnow.com can you find such an insane deal? Oh, and did I mention that it’s free?

Christmas is just two days away and many of you still haven’t figured out what to get for that kind-of special someone. Many of you fixit dudes and dudettes have emailed me with much weeping and gnashing of teeth about your dilemma, turning to the Samurai to offer the solution, as I have so many times before. Rest easy, my ruffled grasshoppers and unflutter your delicate wings flapping in the winds of anxiety: the Samurai has heard your plaintive cries and once again dashes in to save your sorry butts.

Now, just in time for Christmas, the Samurai and Fixitnow.com are proud to offer Live Help Gift Certificates. Give that special but almost-forgotten someone a truly special gift, even more precious than anything you could buy from the jewelry department at the Wal-Mart. Yes, you can give the gift of live appliance repair help with the Samurai. You can be heroes, just for one day. With live appliance repair help, the Samurai will help them get that stove or refrigerator or any other major appliance fixed right now.

Single-repair gift certificates are only $25 and are good for live help on any major appliance problem. Got a handy guy or gal in your life and not sure what to get ’em? Instead of wasting money on another lame tool that they’ll never use, buy them a one-year subscription to live appliance repair help for only $45. The gift certificates never expire and make an impressive presentation in even the ugliest Christmas cards. This year, give the gift that says, “Get the damn thing fixed already, you bonehead!”

All gift certificate deliveries are guaranteed to arrive before Christmas so come git you one!

For more information about live appliance repair help here at Fixitnow.com with the Samurai, click here.

You got questions? We got answers in the the inner sanctum of appliance repair wisdom: the Appliantology Group. I know, you’re wondering what could the Appliantology Group possibly offer that isn’t already contained in the vast repository of appliance repair wisdom here at Fixitnow.com. Two things: 1) hundreds of repair diagrams, photos, and illustrations for all your major appliances and 2) a repair forum where you can post your questions and get personalized help from Master Appliantologists. Admission to this inner sanctum of sublime appliance wisdom is free and painless. Join us.

In the Appliantology Group, we’re always fixin’ something good.