When you join the repair forum and make your love-offering to become an Apprentice Appliantologist, you can get expert help from Master Appliantolgists in fixing your appliances. But we’ve amped the forum up to 11– now it’s one bettah! Daf right, homey– now you can also tap into the vast reservoir of appliantological scriptures available to you in the Samurai School of Appliantology.

We have service manuals for most appliance brands and models. To avail yourself of this gracious and unique offer, simply post your request in the eponymous Appliance Service Manual Request Forum. If the manual is available (and most of the time it is), we’ll give it to you as a free gift! It’s our way of saying “Domo, Dude!” for supporting our mission of evangelizing the world with Total Appliance Enlightenment®.

Let’s list some of the reasons to avoid GE appliances:

• they have lots of safety recalls for design defects;
• they’ve had class action lawsuits for building crappy stuff.
• they refuse to make their technical service manuals freely available to their customers as other, more enlightened manufacturers have done (e.g., Whirlpool, LG, Frigidaire, and Dacor);
• they are the preferred brand of high school dropouts.

But, let’s not pick nits. Here’s yet another reason to avoid GE appliances: ripoff pricing for replacement parts.

Here’s a good example. The coils on the gas valve are a common part to replace on any gas dryer. The coils are the same regardless of brand and, in most cases, are inexpensive. The exception, of course, is GE. Compare the difference in price: the gas valve coils in a GE bag retail for almost $70 whereas the same, exact coils sold by Whirlpool retail for around $20!

See, when you buy a GE appliance, the purchase is just the beginning of the milking that you’re in for.

When you’ve turned as many screws as ol’ Samurai, you get pretty excited about cordless screwdrivers. A good cordless screwdriver can really speed up the job, eliminating some of the drudgery and saving you real time so you can go back to doing important things, like drinking beer.

What distinguishes a “good” cordless driver from a mediocre or sucky one? Some key qualifications include:

• low cost
• light weight
• batteries recharge quickly
• enough torque to get the job done
• adjustable torque

Oh, sure, you could buy one o’ them fancy, high-dollah DEwalt drivers. But why spend all the money for a tool that you’ll probably only use once in a while when this one will do the job just as well for a fifth of the cost?

I’ve used a variation of this Black and Decker cordless driver for almost ten years now. They don’t even make the one I use anymore, guess they replaced it with this new fancy-schmancy one that you can fold into a driver gun.

The adjustable torque is an essential feature to have when working with metal screws in cheap plastic parts, which describes most appliance assemblies out there. And the adjustable torque means you’ll never again be accused of having a screw loose.

Here’s the battery you’ll need for this driver. Don’t bother with the VersaPak silver batteries. Yeah, they’re less expensive but you don’t even get what you pay for because they don’t last nearly as long as the gold batteries. Learned that the hard way. In rehab.

I’ve recycled lots of the silver VersaPak batteries because they’d no longer hold a charge. OTOH, I’ve been using the gold VersaPak batteries exclusively for over five years now and have yet to recycle a single one.

If you’re gonna work on your own appliances, you need to know something about electricity. You at least need to know what you don’t know because lots of folks think they know, but they really don’t and they end up popping a circuit breaker, getting shocked, or smoking a control board. Why? ‘Cuz they don’t know what they don’t know. Ya know?

Sublime Master of Appliantology Keinokuorma, from the Samurai Appliance Repair Forums, has been to the mountain top and he has returned with the Ten Commandments for working with household electricity. Hear therefore, O Grasshoppahs, and observe to do it; that it may be well with thee, and that ye may increase mightily, as the Samurai hath promised thee, in the land that floweth with Appliantology.

The Ten Commandments of Working With Householde Power
by Sublime Master of Appliantology Keinokuorma

1. Thou shalt not worke with thy house wyres unless thou knoweth what thou art to do.

2. Thou shalt understande, that unless thou art a trained and licensed professionall elecktrician, thy work with the wyres can void thy fyre insurance.

3. Shalt thou not be sure what thou art to do, or, shalt thou at a pointe feel that thou knoweth not how to proceede, thou shalt call for the helpe of a professionall elecktrician.

4. Thou shalt turne off the breaker or remove the fuse before thou worketh on the wyres. Shalt thou not be sure which breaker or fuse affects said wyres, thou shalt turne off the main switche, and worke with a flash-lighte or candell, if no other lighte is availabel. Thou shalt checke and double checke that there is no power to the wyres thou art to worke with.

5. Unless thou knoweth for sure what thou art to do, thou shalt not tamper with the power meter or the contents of the fuse/breaker boxe. In moste installations, the meter hath Lethall Power even if thou turneth the main switche off.

6. Thou shalt not cutte the insulators when thou strippeth the outer jackett of a cabell, and thou shalt not cutte the inner wyre when thou strippeth the insulator. Thou shalt avoide using wyre nutts on stranded wyre, for that will surely cutte some strands.

7. Thou shalt not rely on elecktricall tape as finall and permanent insulation, for it could shifte and leave the bare wyre exposed. Thou shalt not truste said tape to insulate thy Screw-Driver or other metallic toole safely.

8. Thou shalt not confuse Grounde and Neutrall wyres. If thou only hath a Neutrall wyre, thou may use that for Grounde, but not the other way.

9. Thou shalt take extreme care if thou needeth to joine olde and newe wyre colors. A smallest mis-matche could leade to severe trouble.

10. Thou shalt checke and double checke thy work before thou re-seateth the fuse or turneth the main switche or breaker on.

If thou faileth to heede these warnings, thou standeth the great riske of feeling the Wrathe of The Power in its full effect with the moste un-desirabell resulte.

———————

Additionall Notes to Severall Commandments

4: Thou may make an exception if thou needeth to verify the funcktionality of the circuite, or verify which fuse or breaker affecteth it. Taking great care, and with suitabell and reliabell measuring devices, thou may verify if the circuite is powered or not. Thou shalt not rely upon the Glow-Sticke or Contackt Voltage Indicator but for reference only. Thou shalt acquire a Digitall or Analogue Multi-Meter which giveth thou true readings, and thou shalt learne to operate thy Multi-Meter before thou worketh on thy house wyres. Any shoppe with good stocke of elecktricall stuffe will be happy to sell one.
Basick Measurements Guide.

5: In moste cases, thou shalt leave any alterations to the breaker boxe to the professionall elecktrician.

Overall: Thou shalt leave any extensive alterations to any circuite to a professionall elecktrician. In any case, thou shalt make a neate, comprehendibel jobbe that shalt not confuse those who worke on it at later tymes.

Can I hear an “Amen?”

Most smart compooter owners use a surge suppressor to protect their precious silicon from surges, spikes, and other nasties that frequently haunt home power. This is good. But did you know that almost all home appliances made today also have a compooter inside of them? Yes, my leetle grasshoppers, I shi’ite you not.

Even wet appliances, like washers, dryers, and dishwashers, use a cheesy compooter board to make decisions about what to do when (in violation of the 5th Law of the Prophecy, I might point out). Ovens, dehumidifiers, and refrigerators made these days all use electronic control boards, too. These control boards are nothing more than really dumb, special purpose compooters and are just as vulnerable to voltage surges at your electrical outlet as is the compooter that you’re using to read this post right now.

As a bonus editorial comment, it’s worth noting that these boards have replaced the simple but rugged and ultra-reliable mechanical switches used on older models. Why? Well, after-market parts sales comprise almost a third of the total corporate profits for appliance manufacturers, so…

To protect your appliances and avoid having to shell out big $$ for an overpriced, cheesy electronic board that got fried by garbage on your power lines, you need to use a surge suppressor on all your appliances. They don’t cost much and will pay for themselves many times over in avoided repair costs. Here are three good ones to choose from. These are all for 120vac outlets. If you want protection for your 240vac appliances (for example, your electric oven, electric dryer, or air conditioner) you’ll need a whole-house surge suppressor.

And now, for all you fixit freaks out there who surf into sites like this one just ‘cuz you like to see how stuff gets fixed, I present the Samurai Fixit Cam for your viewing pleasure.